Remembrance

    It's not like it's a common thing to tell someone you died saving your little sister. That you drowned giving up your life for another. I didn't even know how the others became Guardians or what they were like before. I, I guess part of me wanted them to share their stories first, maybe it'd make sharing mine a little easier. Perhaps I could try to tell them about my death around the date I actually died, maybe it'd just push me to talk about it. 

    But when that date rolled around, I couldn't bring myself to even bother to come face-to-face with any of them.

    Instead, I sat by my lake in silence, and stared out at the ice. 

    It...It was weird, sitting here, trying to force myself to remember why I'd even brought her out to the lake when it was so close to spring. Was it my idea? Was it hers? Our mother, whose name I still hadn't been able to pinpoint, had given us permission, so I guess it was something she didn't mind us doing. But, did I even check the ice before we went out on it's frozen surface? Did I make sure we'd both be okay?

    I, I guess not. I was sitting here now, after all. Alone. A simple spirit. The spirit of a boy who drowned in a lake.

    "But, you did save your sister." a little voice in my head spoke out. "Because of you, she lived to see another sunset, another sunrise."

    I closed my eyes and rested my head on my knees. It was right...I had saved her...

    But then another thought popped up in my head.

    "If...she didn't die on the ice with me...then..." I paused looking up to the sky, now dark and filled with the stars of the night, silently surrounding the bright, almost-full moon. 

    "If she didn't die when I drowned, then when did she die?"

*~*~*~*~*~*

    And thus, I started my journey on researching just about everything I could about my sister's life. 

    It was hard at first. I didn't even know her name. I couldn't remember her name, and that really irritated me. Man-In-Moon hadn't given me back any of my memories, though I'm not sure why I expected him to. It would have been nice, like a gift for doing what he created me for. 

    Ah well, mystical little aliens miles and miles away on a rock. What can you do?

    Eventually I figured out that in Burgess's town hall there was this thing called "records", aka thousands of papers dating back to when the town was first settled that included when everyone was born, baptized, wedded, and died. 

    So it took me a little while to go through and find mine -turns out my middle name is Finnegan and Overland was truly my last name- let alone then go through and find my mother's, whose name was Elaine Joy Overland and died of old age peacefully in her sleep; my father's, Johnathon Matthews Overland who died fighting the native Indians of this area. Then I had to combine their information to find my sister's.

    Her name was Elizabeth Sophia Overland. 

    Elizabeth Sophia Overland was born on June 22nd, baptized on June 31st, married on December 9th, and then passed on February 17th. She had three children, two boys and one girl. But my eyes grazed over their names, instead focusing on her death certificate. I started to read it aloud,

    "February 17th. Elizabeth Sophia Macathur," she was married now, "Wandered out into a blizzard, reportedly sleep-walking and calling out the name of...o-of her deceased b-brother, Jackson Finnegan Overland. Her h-husband an...and a small search party went out a-after her as soon as th-they'd realized she'd departed...B-But it was in v-vain. The bl-blizzard turned horrendous, a-and they were f-forced to wait it out.

    "Upon the blizzard's departure, the s-search party immediately sc-scavenged the forests surrounding Burgess. M-Merely hours in-into the searching...a-a b-body was found. S-She was pronounced dead at t-the scene...H-Hypothermia."

    I dropped the piece of paper and stalked out of the records room. There wasn't much else I was interested in now.

    I was angry.

    Very angry.

    What kind of brother are you? a new voice in my head snapped, You killed her! You killed your little sister when she was out looking for you! You know what you are? You're a monster!

    "No..." I whispered, clenching my fists. "You're...you're wrong! I-I didn't mean to-"

    Of course you didn't. You didn't think. You never do, Jack. And it only causes more pain. You're nothing but a monster.

    "STOP IT!" I shouted, chucking my staff to the side I sprinted into the forest. I didn't want to hurt anyone while I let my emotions take over. It'd been awhile since I'd last done this...years, maybe a few decades. Bottling up emotions was a pastime of mine; its not like I had anyone to share them with anyway.

    It felt nice to let them loose. Every tree I struck or kicked became layered in frost and ice, and the wind rushed around me, carrying the snow I was causing to fall with it. I screamed and yelled and cursed in languages I'd forgotten I knew, ignoring the tears that trickled down my face. At some point I'd picked my staff back up and threw it once more in anger before re-grabbing it and soaring into the sky, stirring up the clouds around me into a blizzard, only to release my hold on the staff and let me fall aimlessly to the cold, hard ground.

    The shock of the impact was enough to snap me out of it, and I laid there for a moment, staring up at the sky as the tears continued to come. The snow fell angrily around me, slowing down as my breaths became even again. 

    It was growing dark out now, and the sky was turning a mixture of purple, blue, and indigo. The soft glow that reflected off the snow and ice surrounding me managed to further relax my harsh breathing, and slowly the tears came less and less.

    But the whimpering that came from me wasn't going to stop for awhile.

*~*~*~*~*~*

    

    Eventually, I forced myself to get to my feet and retrieve my staff. Getting back up onto my feet and heading deeper into the woods, I gazed up at the sky. It was late now, the sky black with stars glittering all throughout. There was no moon tonight.

    My eyes ached, and my face felt stiff with the frozen tears still resting upon it. I wiped them away, hoping to forget what I had just discovered. I thought I'd been ready to figure out more about my past and my family, that maybe it'd make me feel a little better about being accepted into this new one.

    But it didn't.

    It only made me feel worse.

    I'd killed her. She'd gone out in a snowstorm I'd caused and died. I had killed my little sister. 

    A weird, strangled laugh escaped my lips. How ironic. I'd died saving her from the cold, water beneath her feet when I'd taken her ice skating. Then I became an ice spirit. And then I caused a snowstorm. And then she died because of it. 

    It really was all my fault. 

    I laughed again. How ironic was it that I had become a spirit because I saved my little sister, only to cause her death a couple of years later with the powers I'd gotten from saving her? 

    I shook my head, letting my gaze fall to the snow covered ground. Hatred for my powers coursed through my veins, and I felt the urge to smack my staff against a tree, hoping for it to splinter into pieces. But I didn't; some part of me was still within reason.

    I fell to the ground again, sitting up on my knees. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry again, I wanted to die and go to whatever Hell spirits went to.

    But I didn't. 

     I didn't cry, I didn't scream, and I truly didn't want to die again. I'm not sure what I wanted. And I wasn't sure on what I exactly wanted to do about it.

    So I did the next best thing.

    Went to the person who would know.

 *~*~*~*~*~*

    Finding the Pooka was another matter. 

    I usually tried to avoid him, so I wasn't exactly sure on how to go about finding him. But hey, how hard could it be to find a six-foot one humanoid rabbit?

    "Bunny?" I called out as I flew over top the Sentenial eggs and miniature eggs, causing a light snow to fall. Hopefully I wouldn't freeze too much; I was trying to get on Cottontail's good side now.

    Landing in a rather large field of grass, I called out once more, turning a complete 360 as I searched for the Guardian of hope. I was exhausted, physically and emotionally, and I just wanted to find the damn rabbit already. 

    

    "Bunny! I know you're here! Come on, can we talk?" I yelled, leaning on my staff. "Please, Cottontail!" I started to beg, my voice faltering. 

    Maybe he isn't here, he might be out spreading Hope you know, he does that sometimes...

    Or maybe's he's ignoring you. He always has, hasn't he? What makes you think this'll be any different?

    

    "No..." I growled, throwing my hands over my ears. "No...h-he wouldn't...we're on the s-same side now..."

    Ha. Do you really think that makes a difference? Or did you think that he really cared about you? That the other Guardians truly care? Oh, come off it boy, they don't! They just used you to defeat the Nightmare King! They don't need you anymore! Why do you keep trying! Give up, boy!

    "NO!" I screeched, falling to my knees. I felt the wind begin to pick up around me, whether out of concern or agreement with the voice I didn't know. I wanted to run again, to escape the voice, but I couldn't get myself to even stand up. 

    "Stop it, stop it, stop it! Y-You're wrong! S-Shut up!" 

    The voice laughed, and for a moment I believed Pitch to be right next to me. Deep down, Jack, you know I am right. I have always been right, and I always will be. You're worthless, you're just a tool that the Guardians will use when they need you, and then they'll throw you away. They don't believe you're worth anymore of their time, Jack. You're just a winter spirit who messes everything up wherever he goes.

    "S-SHUT UP!" I screamed, curling in on myself. I wanted the voice to stop, to leave, to shut the Hell up and never speak to me again. I wanted to get rid of it. But how....how can you get rid of something that's...inside of your head?

    I felt myself being picked up by the wind, though I wasn't sure if it was my own, and was soon out of the Warren and out in the frozen landscape of my home forest. Unknown strength helped me back onto my feet, and I dashed to my lake, coming to a dead stop right before the water's edge. It was only lightly frozen now, it wouldn't be so hard...

    ...to break.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Bunnymund POV

   “Frostbite! Agh! I swear when I get mah hands on ya, yer gonna be sorry…” I muttered under my breath as I observed the snow and ice scattered haphazardly around the Warren. I heard the others fall down through the tunnels and come up behind me.

   “Well, at least we know ‘e’s been ‘ere.” North remarked. Tooth fluttered overhead,  silent as she took the scene in.

   “This doesn’t look like his normal snow pattern.”

   We fell silent; she was right. We’d all gotten together to finally confront Jack about his past life after Tooth had brought up how skittish and resisting he was to tell her about it. We were all curious; what could’ve been so bad that he didn’t want to share?

   “Yer right, Tooth…his snow isn’t like this.” I muttered, already feeling guilty for my anger towards the kid. “Do ya think somethin’s up?”

   “It is all…scattered and messy. Not like Jack at all. Hmm…yes, Bunny,” North pondered, “S’mething is most definitely up. Sandy, what do you think?”

   The eldest Guardian nodded, a look of worry obvious on his face.

   “We should look for ‘im, try to see what’s goin’ on.” I suggested, already turning to face the frosted trail through the grass. It’d be easy to follow him to the surface at least. A sickening feeling was settling in my stomach; something was definitely wrong, and something terrible was bound to happen if we didn’t find Jack.

   Not waiting for a response, I made up my mind and dashed along Jack’s trail, only pausing to look back at the others and shout,

   “Hurry up ya ‘nellys! Yer as slow as a bunch of turtles!”

   Resuming speed, I ran on all fours through the Warren and ascended up through one of the tunnels leading to Burgess; Jack always managed to end up back there whenever he was in a funk.

   As soon as I stepped out into the open air, I was met with a fierce array of snow and wind.

   “Yeah, the kid is definitely upset…” I mumbled, glancing around as the others joined me above ground. “We gotta find ‘im before ‘e ‘urts someone, or ‘imself-”

   “Bunny, look!” Tooth gasped, pointing at an object abandoned in the snow. I jumped over to it and picked it up; It was Jack’s Shepard’s staff. I turned and looked to the others.

   “We need to find ‘im. Now,” I said quietly, “The weather is goin’ crazy, and Jack doesn’t even have ‘is staff. Somethin’s terribly wrong ‘ere.”

   “We should split up, then.” North said, a serious demeanor overcoming him. “Sandy, you go East; Tooth, you go North; I shall go South, and Bunny you go West. Da? Agreed?”

   We all nodded, sharing one more silent, nervous glance at one another. No one knew exactly what we were about to find.

   North grunted, nodding his head to us. “Good. We find Jack, make sure he is okay, then contact others. Now, we go!”

*~*~*~*~*~*

   Jack was a lot harder to track in his own element than he was in the Warren.

   His scent, which is pine trees and snow, obviously mixed in with those of the surrounding forest. And so for a while, I just sprinted along the ground towards West, hoping for the best and looking for any sign that may lead me to Jack.

   It didn’t take long to find some.

   Where the snow lay uneven and stiff, it was much easier to see the footprints. After that, it was easy to follow the boy’s uneven trail through the woods. It never stayed straight and the farther it went along, the messier the imprints became, as if he was going faster and faster.

   Needless to say, it only caused me to grow more and more concerned.

   Ever since Jack had become a Guardian, I had been kinder to him and well, taken up a protective role so to say. He was still a child in many aspects, and not well liked by other spirits, or so I’d observed.

    He always told us that he could handle things himself; he tried to be distant and nonchalant about complaints other spirits sent us about him. He tried to right his wrongs more than not, but it seemed as if his efforts didn’t really matter to the other elemental spirits, so I made sure he stayed clear of them.

    Finally, the prints in the snow started to even out, and I was able to spot where he’d gone. The lake.

    I chuckled a bit, getting back onto my back feet and slowed my pace as I approached the clearing. Of course he’d come here, I should’ve guessed it in the first place. A little bit of my worry started to cease…

    Until I saw Jack sliding along the lake’s frozen surface.

    Until I saw the cracks in the ice trailing behind him.

    Can winter spirits drown?!

    I ran up to the lake’s edge, hesitating to get on. There was no way the ice could support my weight along with Jack’s; it was brittle and thin, in fact I was amazed it was even holding up under Jack’s. Why was Jack out on the ice anyway? Especially without his staff?

    “Jack?” I finally asked softly, hoping to not startle the boy. “What are ya doin’ out there?”

    “Skatin’.”he responded quietly; his voice was so soft I almost missed it.

    “Well, that’s some pretty funny lookin’ skatin’, mate.” I replied calmly, cautiously placing one foot down on the ice’s surface. I winced as it slowly cracked as I put pressure on it, but I had to try and get out to Jack. Something was horribly wrong.

    Jack simply shrugged at my words. He had his arms outstretched, as if to be keeping his balance. “I don’t think so, it’s how my sister used to skate.”

    Sister?

    Jack turned to look at me. “She loved to skate, so every winter when she was old enough I took her out skating as much as I could; This very lake you know.”

    I swallowed hard. “Yeah? I didn’t know that.”

    Suddenly, Jack scowled at me, anger flashing in his eyes. “’Course you didn’t! You don’t care!”

    I was taken aback, and nearly stepped off the ice.

    But just as fast as the anger had come, it vanished.

    “I’m sorry…” I heard Jack whisper as he turned away from me. “I’ve always known that you, and the others too, didn’t care. I’m okay with it though. I’m used to being on my own, it’s nice sometimes.”

    He fell silent, suddenly twisting and turning back and forth on his feet effortlessly. My heart leapt into my throat as I watched him nearly loose his balance. A soft, restrained laugh escaped him.

    “She and I played of games out on the ice too, you know.”

    “Really?” I asked, scooting along the ice carefully towards him. “What kind of games, Jack?”

    “Oh lots,” he said happily, “Tag, leapfrog, when the ice was thick enough of course; we took turns seeing how fast we could spin and how many turns we could do in a row…” he lifted one foot, balancing carefully on the other.

    “And hopscotch.”

    The air felt extremely tense all of a sudden.

    “Those sound like a lot of fun, Jack.” I replied calmly, edging closer to him; He was just out of arms’ reach now. “Why don’t we go back to the shore and play some of those?”

    Jack shook his head quickly.

    “No, no; we played them out here on the ice,” he muttered, looking down at the cracked surface below him. “Like this, watch…”

    And I did watch, as Jack leaned forward and hopped onto his other foot. A sickening crack vibrated through the ice.

    Jack looked at me, his face completely emotionless.

    Suddenly, his eyes filled with fear. “S-See? Hopscotch-”

    And then the ice split underneath his feet, cutting him off as he plunged down into the freezing water.

    “JACK!” I screeched and threw myself towards where he disappeared, no longer concerned for myself. “Jack, Jack! Answer me!” I shouted. The water was already beginning to freeze back over, and Jack’s flailing arms and legs only continued to slow and sink with each passing second.

    All sense of logic gone, I shot my arms down into the cold slush and reached for the winter spirit. Ignoring the sudden tingling and burning sensation of the temperature, I dropped further and further into the water. I was not about to let Jack drown.

    “Not on my watch, Frostbite…Come, on!” I growled as I finally managed to grab ahold of one of his arms. With a smile and I yanked him upwards and grabbed the other. “Got’cha!” I cheered, pulling him back above the surface.

    I pushed back away from the hole in the ice, and didn’t hesitate to pick the boy up and sprint off the ice; who knew how long it’d be before I fell in, and then we’d be in a pickle.

    Once we were on the bank, I dropped to my knees and laid Jack carefully down, shaking him. He was still breathing, but barely.

     “Open yer eyes, mate, come on now…” I whispered, trying to remain calm.  

    I got no response. So I continued to shake him and turned him on his side, patting on his back ever so slightly.

    Thankfully, this time he did respond, and he started throwing up water and gasping for air. He started to sit up and reach out. I put a paw on his shoulder and gently helped him sit up as the water continued to come.

    “There, Jack, see? Yer all good, it’s okay…Keep coughin’, that’s good.” I tried to soothe him, but I wasn’t so sure how much it was actually working.

    After about two minutes, (which felt like two hours), Jack’s coughing finally subsided, and the only sound between us was his harsh breathing. He sat there, confusion and terror still in his eyes, but his face was no longer emotionless, he seemed to be back from wherever his head had been out on the ice.

    “B…Bunny, wh-what happened?”

    “You were out on the ice, mate.” I told him quietly, unsure of how much he exactly remembered, of how much he actually had told . “Ya…ya were talkin’ a lot about skatin’ and, somethin’ about a sister. And games, like hopscotch.”

    Jack tensed up. “I…I w-was?”

    I nodded, casting my eyes down and resting my ears against my head.  “Yeah, ya were, Jack. Ya talked about how much she loved to go skatin’, and that you’d take her as much as ya could.”

    He sighed, his body relaxing as a forced chuckle came from him. “W-Well…at least you know now.”

    I looked up at him, my ears perked back on top of my head.

    “Know what?”

    Jack’s breath caught in his throat, and for a moment I thought he wasn’t going to tell me as silence enveloped us.

    Jack broke it rather quickly.

    “How I died.”

    “…Oh.”

    He sighed again, resting back on his hands. “I…I didn’t want to tell you guys, at least not yet. But, I guess it’s out now, huh? You’re going to tell the others and they’re going to ask more questions and just-”

    “’Ey, ‘ey; slow down there, mate,” I said, laying a paw on his shoulder again. “I ain’t gonna tell ‘em unless ya want me too.”

    He looked at me, confused. “What? Really?”

    “Really.” I smiled a little. “I get where yer comin’ from; The past is a hard thin’ to open up ‘bout.

    He didn’t say anything for a moment, and silence once again surrounded us. I shifted awkwardly; it wasn’t usually me in these types of situations. Tooth and Sandy had always been better at cheering ourselves up, offering advice or comfort.

    But, it seemed I was doing a decent job as Jack suddenly wrapped his arms around me, mumbling something into my fur.

    “Wha’ was that, mate? I didn’ quite hear ya through the fur.” I chuckled, looking down at him.

    Jack pulled back, turning away and wiping at his face quickly. “N-Nothing….just, um, thanks…”

    I blinked. “Uh, yer welcome. Now, since we’re already both ‘ere, why don’t ya tell me about whatever memories yer ready to share?”

    He nodded, shifting so he was sitting with his legs close to his chest. A sigh escaped him, and he cast his eyes downward as he started to speak,

    “Well, it all started a long time ago…when I wasn’t Jack Frost, but Jackson Finnegan Overland, and I decided to take my little sister, Elizabeth, ice skating…”

    *~*~*~*~*~*

    It was nearing dawn, and I’d been sitting in silence the entire time. Jack had turned his body so he was leaning against me, his head laying against my shoulder and the rest of his body slouched over as his breathing came steadily. I hadn’t had the heart to move him, not after he shared so much.

    It had shocked me, everything he said. I’d had no idea, none whatsoever, about how Jack had become Jack Frost and how much he truly didn’t remember.

    I knew we’d all, the Guardians and other spirits, had affected and hurt him by ignoring him for so long. Part of me definitely wanted to go back and time and slap myself for it. And part of me really wanted to. Jack didn’t deserve to be treated the way he was, he didn’t deserve to go through everything he endured.

    But it was not my place to tamper with the past, nor was it to change the course, no matter how awful, Man in Moon had set for the boy. A little resentment had settled for him now, though. Seventeen years old and Jack had probably experienced more emotional trauma than any of us had. And yet, he still smiled and looked for the positive side of things. He didn’t give up, he didn’t submit to the dark corners of his mind. He hadn’t given in to Pitch when he’d offered him the one thing Jack wanted most. He still knew right from wrong, and he suffered through it all in silence.

    Never once had Jack verbally expressed his anger or resentment towards the Guardians. They all knew it was there; Bunny now had evidence of that. But the kid never said a thing, never spoke bad of them. He probably used to, or maybe still does, think bad of them at times, but he never gave up trying to be accepted by them. He never stopped hoping that, one day, he’d be accepted by them; acknowledged, not pushed or shooed away.

    And that was something I now truly admired about the kid.

    MiM had been right about him since the start, never once doubting in Jack’s purpose and place in the world. He knew what we was doing when he resurrected Jack all those centuries ago.

    I chuckled, gazing up at the glowing moon in the sky.

    “Ya work in such odd ways, mate. Mean ways, too sometimes. But,” I turned, looking down at the sleeping winter spirit beside me.

    “Ya are always right in the end. Thank for givin’ us the boy none of us knew we needed. We’ll take care of ‘em from now on. We’ll make up for all those years ‘e spent alone. ‘e’s one of us now. An’ in a family, no one gets left behind.”  

    I smiled, ruffling Jack’s hair gently, seeing the others started to approach of out the corner of my eye.

    “Or forgotten.”